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[GermanStar]

Mar 11 1669
After a series of premonitional earthquakes near Mount Etna, the largest volcano in Europe spectacularly erupts, destroying the Sicilian town of Nicolosi and killing 20,000 people.

Mar 11 1938
Germany enters Austria in the "Anschluss", to annex it as part of Grossdeutchland.

Mar 11 1958
A B-47 bomber drops a nuclear bomb in the town of Mars Bluff in South Carolina. While it did not detonate a nuclear explosion, conventional explosives within the bomb left a 75 foot crater, destroying one house and damaging five others.

Mar 11 1970
Actress Suzanne Somers arrested (and strip searched!) for writing bad checks. She was not prosecuted.

Mar 11 1990
Vice President Dan Quayle sends a Secret Service agent proxy into a Chilean tourist shop to purchase a wooden male, anatomically correct "peekaboo" statuette.

Mar 11 1998
The town of Cicero, IL agrees to donate $10,000 towards the printing of KKK literature to be mailed to its residents, in return for the Klan not holding a scheduled rally.

[GermanStar]

Mar 12 1888
The massive and unexpected Blizzard of 1888 strikes the East coast of the United States, paralyzing New York and many other cities and leaving at least 400 dead. Snowdrifts fifty feet high were reported, and New York received over 40 inches of snow.

Mar 12 1928
The two-year-old St. Francis Dam north of Los Angeles fails catastrophically just before midnight, unleashing 52 million tons of water on the city of Santa Paula. 437 people are killed by the torrent, including 19 families with no survivors whatsoever.

Mar 12 1945
Anne Frank dies at Auschwitz.

Mar 12 1964
Malcolm X withdraws from the Nation of Islam after he finds out that Elijah Mohammad has been porking his secretaries.

Mar 12 1980
A Chicago jury finds John Wayne Gacy guilty of the murders of 33 men and boys. The next day, he is sentenced to death; after years on death row, Gacy is finally executed in May 10, 1994.

Mar 12 1993
A series of bomb explosions rock western India. The first kills 50 at the Bombay Stock Exchange, and many other explosions target theaters, offices, and shopping areas. It is suspected that the acts were intended to destabilize India's government.

Mar 12 2000
Pope John Paul II asks God's forgiveness for the many wrongs committed by the Roman Catholic Church. The pardon he requested divided into seven categories of Church sin, including sins against the Jews, against native peoples of the world, the crimes of the Inquisition, and general crimes against humanity. This pardon was requested only for past sins, and apparently does not apply to the Church's many ongoing sins.

[Digmenow]

Mar 12 2000
Pope John Paul II asks God's forgiveness for the many wrongs committed by the Roman Catholic Church. The pardon he requested divided into seven categories of Church sin, including sins against the Jews, against native peoples of the world, the crimes of the Inquisition, and general crimes against humanity. This pardon was requested only for past sins, and apparently does not apply to the Church's many ongoing sins.

I was taking all this as factual until this bit of editorializing slipped in. 

[GermanStar]

Aw, don't shoot the messenger now... There's play by play, and then there's color. It's all just simmerin' in the same pot.

[GermanStar]

Mar 13 1881
An anarchist from the radical group People's Will throws a bomb which disrupts Czar Alexander II's motorcade. After he thanks God for his deliverance, the anarchist yells "It is too early to thank God" and throws a second bomb, causing injuries from which Alexander bleeds to death.

Mar 13 1923
Twenty-two persons killed in a poison rice episode, China. Five cooks are blamed.

Mar 13 1964
At 3:15 AM, bar manager Catherine "Kitty" Genovese is raped and stabbed to death outside her apartment building in Queens, NY. None of her 38 neighbors who witness the 32-minute ordeal even bothers to call the cops. Later in court, several testify hearing her scream: "Oh my God! He stabbed me! Please help me! I'm dying!"

Mar 13 1996
Salim and Ruksana Patel find the arabic word for Allah spelled in the seeds of an aubergine (a Persian eggplant variant) which they intended for a casserole at their home in Bolton, England. Their local mullah declares it a miracle.

Mar 13 1997
Hassan Abdullah's wife accidentally severs her husband's penis while she was "dreaming about strangling him". Luckily for Abdullah doctors in Malaysia were able to successfully reattach his endangered manhood, but not so lucky is the fact that he sleeps with a woman who keeps a knife in bed and dreams about strangling her husband.

Mar 13 2001
One-eyed, mom-hating serial killer/drifter Henry Lee Lucas dies. Lucas was a serial murderer known for making bogus confessions which prompted police across the country to try and clear hundreds of unsolved cases by dumping them on Henry. He later recanted, saying that his goal was to make the police look stupid. Physical evidence only linked Henry to two of the murders.

[GermanStar]

Mar 14 1883
Karl Marx dies of bronchitis in London.

Mar 14 1932
George Eastman, the founder of Kodak Corporation, kills himself after a long illness. His suicide note states "To my friends: My work is done. Why wait?"

Mar 14 1945
"I am going to jump into my grave laughing because the knowledge that I have the deaths of millions of people on my conscience is a source of extraordinary satisfaction to me." Adolf Eichmann.

Mar 14 1967
Nine German executives of the manufacturer of thalidomide, Grunethal, are charged with breaking their country's drug laws. Thalidomide, a sedative, caused over 12,000 babies in late 1950's Europe to be born with flippers instead of limbs.

Mar 14 1968
Nerve gas leaks from the U.S. Army Dugway Proving Ground, near Skull Valley Utah. The gas killed 1600 sheep on the Goshute indian reservation and made hundreds more sick. Dugway is a test center for chemical and biological agents.

Mar 14 1997
A tank illegally stored at the federal government's Hanford nuclear facility in Washington state explodes, causing the release of 30,000 gallons of plutonium into the environment. The government tried to cover up the incident, going so far as having the Department of Energy deny the release of any contamination.

[GermanStar]

Mar 15
Today is the International Day Against Police Brutality, first observed in 1997 after Swiss police beat two children age 11 and 12 to death.

Mar 15
Beware the Ides of March.

Mar 15 44
Julius Caesar, already warned to be wary on this the Ides of March by the astrologer Spurinna, assassinated with pointy knives by a group of Senators at the Pompey theater.

Mar 15 1812
Luddites attack Frank Vickerman's wool processing factory at Taylor Hill in West Yorkshire, resulting in general destruction and attempted arson. The rampaging Luddites were incensed because his machines replaced workers, but Vickerman was primarily targeted because of involvement in an Anti-Luddite committee.

Mar 15 1894
Jean Pauwels is killed walking into the Madeline church in Paris, when a bomb in his pocket suddenly goes off. The Belgian anarchist is later determined to have been responsible for two other explosions in February, one of which killed a pedestrian.

Mar 15 1937
H P Lovecraft dies from cancer and Bright's disease in Rhode Island.

Mar 15 1998
White House aide Kathleen Willey claims on the trashy TV tabloid program 60 Minutes that President Bill Clinton kissed her, touched her breasts and made her touch his "no-no place." Clinton of course denies this version of events.

[GermanStar]

Mar 16
St. Urho's Day, Patron saint of Finnish vineyard workers. Attributed to him is the miracle of banishing grasshoppers from Finland which he accomplished with a few choice Finnish phrases, thereby saving the season's grape crop. But in reality a bunch of very drunk people made this up in 1956.

Mar 16 1190
More than 150 and perhaps as many as 500 Jews, secured in Clifford's Tower at York, die from suicide and massacre after they are sieged by townspeople under Richard Malebys. Malebys was a nobleman who owed money to the Jews; after their siege all records relating to moneylending were destroyed. It is the largest massacre of Jews in the history of the United Kingdom.

Mar 16 1792
At a masquerade ball, a disgruntled Captain Jacob Johan Ankarstroem shoots Swedish King Gustav III near the heart with a bullet composed of lead and carpet tacks. The king dies twelve days later, and as punishment the Captain is decapitated, drawn, and quartered.

Mar 16 1949
Erik Estrada's birthday.

Mar 16 1968
Soldiers of Charlie Company, 11th Brigade Americal Division massacre over 300 civilian men, women, and children in the village of My Lai in South Vietnam.

Mar 16 1978
Italian Red Brigades kidnap former Italian Premier Aldo Moro for release of imprisoned comrades. Moro was murdered and his body found on 9 May 1978.

Mar 16 1984
The CIA's station chief in Beirut, William Buckley, is kidnapped by the Islamic Jihad and later murdered.

Mar 16 1994
Figure skater Tonya Harding arrested for obstruction of prosecution during the fallout from the Nancy Kerrigan figure skate clubbing.

[GermanStar]

Mar 17 965
Pope Leo VIII dies of a stroke during sexual intercourse. Perhaps the best way for a man to die, but not a very appropriate choice for the Bishop of Rome.

Mar 17 1942
John Wayne Gacy, part time clown, serial killer, and sodomizer of dozens of boys, is born in Chicago. His father was convinced Gacy was a "sissy", but friends and family didn't really suspect anything untoward was afoot until his 1968 arrest for coercing a teenage boy employee into committing multiple homosexual acts.

Mar 17 1948
The Hells Angels Motorcycle Club is founded in San Bernardino, California by veterans of World War II who were former members of the Pissed Off Bastards. Hell's Angels has 100 chapters globally, with more than 1600 members.

Mar 17 1966
A U.S. midget submarine located a missing hydrogen bomb which had fallen from an American bomber into the Mediterranean off Spain.

Mar 17 1999
Six members of the International Olympic Committee are expelled for corruption, all from poor third world countries. They received bribes from Salt Lake City totaling hundreds of thousands of dollars, a practice that had been going on for years. It should also be noted that the IOC Vice President at the time was named "Dick Pound".

[GermanStar]

Mar 18 1314
Jacques de Molay, Grand Master of the Knights Templar, is burned at the stake during the final purge of the Templars in France. Among the things de Molay admitted to the Inquisitor panel (though possibly coerced) were the obligation of Templars to deny Christ when they joined, and a sacrament that involved spitting on a crucifix.

Mar 18 1965
The Rolling Stones are fined 5 UKP for urinating on a Stratford garage wall at the ABC, Romford.

Mar 18 1970
Country Joe McDonald (of Country Joe and the Fish) is convicted on obscenity charges after he asks for an F, a U, a C, and one other letter at a concert in Massachusetts.

Mar 18 1980
A significant percentage of the Soviet space program's scientists are killed when a Vostok rocket explodes on the launch pad. Fifty people die at the Plesetsk Space Center.

[GermanStar]

Mar 19 1935
Rioting breaks out in Harlem after rumors that a shoplifter was beaten or killed by police in the basement of Kress's department store, neither of which was actually true. But still an estimated 10,000 rioters cause $2M damage to whitey's businesses.

Mar 19 1945
Adolf Hitler orders all military and industrial facilities within the Third Reich destroyed. Albert Speer does everything he can to stop this from happening, in direct defiance of Hitler.

Mar 19 1957
Elvis Presley tours and then immediately agrees to purchase the 14 acre Graceland estate from Ruth Moore for $100,000. It is now his cemetery.

Mar 19 1982
The guitarist for Ozzy Osbourne, Randy Rhoads, dies during the Diary of a Madman tour after the plane he is flying in buzzes the band's tour bus and clips the wing of the plane, crashing into a nearby farmhouse.

Mar 19 1987
Televangelist Jim Bakker resigns his PTL ministry after it is revealed he nailed former church secretary Jessica Hahn.

Mar 19 1990
Andrew Wood, lead singer of influential but now mostly forgotten Seattle band "Mother Love Bone" dies of a smack overdose.

[GermanStar]

Mar 20 1899
Martha M. Place, the first woman to be honored by a seat in the electric chair, dies at Sing-Sing Prison, executed for murder.

Mar 20 1928
Fred Rogers, born today in Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood.

Mar 20 1960
South African police massacre 69 black civil rights demonstrators in Sharpeville incident, which moves African National Congress to abandon its policy of nonviolence.

Mar 20 1968
The U.S. goes off the gold standard, turning paper dollars into paper tigers.

Mar 20 1969
John Lennon and Yoko Ono get married in Gibraltar.

Mar 20 1995
Members of the Aum cult release Sarin nerve gas in the Tokyo subway. Eleven people die and 5,500 are injured. The cult's doctrine of "Poa" make mass murder the way to save their own souls. They had intended eventually to produce 70 tons of the gas.

Mar 20 1995
Last words of Thomas J. Grasso, executed in Oklahoma by lethal injection: "I did not get my Spaghetti-O's, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this."

Mar 20 1996
Erik and Lyle Menendez convicted of First Degree Murder. They killed their parents for their money, and then lied all about it.

[GermanStar]

Mar 21 1843
According to Biblical crackpot William Miller, Christ would return sometime in the year following this day in 1843. After Jesus failed to appear by the next March, Miller claimed it was the result of an arithmetic error and recalculated the deadline to be October 22, 1844. The Lord was AWOL on that date also.

Mar 21 1962
In 1962, A bear becomes the first creature to be ejected at supersonic speeds.

Mar 21 1963
Alcatraz Prison closed

Mar 21 1976
In 1976, David Bowie and Iggy Pop were arrested on suspicion of marijuana possession in New York. They were released on $2,000 bail. The charges were dropped.

Mar 21 1980
Mobster Angelo Bruno killed with a shotgun blast to the head while he waits in his car after dinner. The Genovese family thus asserted Philadelphia's traditional claim to Atlantic City. His replacement is his former capo Phil "Chicken Man" Testa.

Mar 21 1984
Actor Dudley Moore arrested for beating his girlfriend. Charges were dropped at her request and Moore married the foolish woman.

Mar 21 2005
British police report that two shots were fired during a Nas concert at London's Brixton Academy. The audience panics and runs off, nobody is harmed. The gunplay occurs in spite of the presence of over 100 security staff members and security checks at the door.

[GermanStar]

Mar 22 1622
A band led by the Brother of Powhatan slaughters 347 settlers near Jamestown, in the first Indian massacre.

Mar 22 1923
Marcel Marceau's birthday. F***ing mimes.

Mar 22 1931
William Shatner, the great actor, birthday.

Mar 22 1933
The first SS-run concentration camp, Dachau, receives prisoners.

Mar 22 1947
U.S. President Harry Truman signs Executive Order 9835, beginning the Great Loyalty Crusade. 2,000,000 government employees were required to take oaths and submit to loyalty investigations; of those a mere 139 were terminated in the span of three years.

Mar 22 1972
National Commission on Marijuana and Drug Abuse recommends ending criminal penalties for possession of marijuana. No subsequent administration has heeded their recommendation.

Mar 22 1978
One of the Flying Wallendas, 73 year old Karl Wallenda, plunges to his death on a cable strung between two hotels in San Juan, PR.

Mar 22 1991
Ivana divorces The Donald.

[GermanStar]

Mar 23 1989
In 1989, a 1000-foot diameter asteroid misses the Earth by only 500,000 miles. (Astronomers did not see it until it passed.)

Mar 23 1990
Gerald Bull, the man assisting Iraq in the construction of a supergun, assassinated by Israeli agents outside his flat in Brussels, Belgium.

Mar 23 1997
Five dead bodies are found arranged in a cross formation at the burned Quebec home of Didier Queze. They were members of the Solar Temple cult who in 1994 to 1996 had totaled 69 suicides in Europe and North America.

Mar 23 1997
Heaven's gate suicides leave 39 dead, all wearing NIKE shoes.

[GermanStar]

Mar 24 1874
Houdini born.

Mar 24 1973
Lou Reed's ass bitten onstage by rabid fan in Buffalo.

Mar 24 1989
Cold Fusion announced.

Mar 24 1989
Exxon tanker Valdez, piloted by a drunk captain, strikes a well-charted reef at Prince William sound, spilling 11 million gallons of crude oil.

Mar 24 1998
In Jonesboro, Arkansas, two boys, ages 11 and 13, pull a fire alarm at Westside Middle School and open fire on students from nearby woods. Four students and one teacher are killed in the ambush.

Mar 24 1999
NATO launched air strikes against Yugoslavia (Serbia, Montenegro, Kosovo and Vojvodina). The attacks marked the first time in its 50-year history that NATO attacked a sovereign country. The bombings were in response to Serbia's refusal to sign a peace treaty with ethnic Albanians who were seeking independence for the province of Kosovo.

[GermanStar]

Mar 25
Jesus crucified (according to old beliefs)

Mar 25 1901
The Mercedes is introduced by Daimler at the five-day "Week of Nice" in Nice, France.

Mar 25 1915
In 1915, first submarine disaster; US F-4 sinks off Hawaii, 21 lives lost.

Mar 25 1954
RCA manufactures its first color television set and begins mass production of their product.

Mar 25 1967
As part of Operation Green Mist, the U.S. Army detonates explosive warheads containing the deadly sarin nerve agent at Upper Waiakea Forest Reserve on the big island of Hawaii. The open-air tests are kept secret for more than thirty years.

Mar 25 1970
The Concorde makes its first supersonic flight.

Mar 25 1975
King Faisal of Saudi Arabia was assassinated by his nephew during a reception at Ri'Assa Palace. The errant nephew was executed by beheading.

Mar 25 1982
Wayne Gretzky becomes the first player in NHL history to score 200 points in a season.

Mar 25 1990
Intentionally set fire at the Happy Land Social Club in NYC kills 87 by smoke inhalation.

[GermanStar]

Mar 26 1830
Joseph Smith publishes The Book of Mormon, after translating it from golden plates turned over by the angel Moroni. Smith maintained that the text contained in the tablets were written in "Reformed Egyptian" which he read by means of two magic stones from the Old Testament, the Urim and Thummim.

Mar 26 1942
Nazis began sending Jews to Auschwitz.

Mar 26 1969
John & Yoko's "Bed-In" begins.

Mar 26 1970
Peter Yarrow of folk group Peter, Paul and Mary, admits doing a 14 year old girl in Washington D.C.

Mar 26 1995
West coast rapper and member of rap group N.W.A. Eazy-E dead from AIDS.

[GermanStar]

Mar 27 30
Pontius Pilate condemns Jesus to death.

Mar 27 1866
Patent for a urinal is granted to Andrew Rankin.

Mar 27 1945
Argentina declares war on Nazi Germany. Of course, this was just a silly charade for the benefit of the world community. Argentina would be a quiet ally of Germany for the duration of the war, even welcoming many Nazi and SS leaders to emigrate there in the aftermath.

Mar 27 1964
One of the largest quakes in US history strikes southeast of Anchorage, Alaska, hitting 8.6 on the Richter scale. 118 people are killed, and a tidal wave destroys four square blocks of Anchorage. The control tower at the airport, 60 feet high, snapped. Damage in the state is estimated at $500 million.

Mar 27 1977
The worst airline disaster in history occurs when the confused pilot of a KLM Boeing 747 taking off collides with a Pan Am Boeing 747 which was on the runway. A total of 583 people die.

Mar 27 2001
Vatican officials reported three days ago on the exhumation of Pope John XXIII, which occurred quietly on January 16. The pontiff's body, dead for 37 years now, was described as having a face that "has not changed since his death."

[GermanStar]

Mar 28 0
According to Des Pascha Comutus, written in 243 CE, Jesus Christ's birthday was March 28. It later became the familiar December 25 after Rome changed it in 336.

Mar 28 193
The Roman ruler Pertinax is murdered by the Praetorian Guard. There being no obvious successor and no Senatorial volunteers, the Guard auctions off the emperorship. The high bidder is Senator Didius Julianus, for 300 million sesterces. After hearing of this, Roman general Septimus Severus in Dalmatia marched on Rome, beheading the new emperor upon arrival.

Mar 28 1930
Constantinople becomes Istanbul.

Mar 28 1941
Virginia Woolf commits suicide.

Mar 28 1947
Leftover Jap boobytrap from WWII explodes in Corregidor, killing 28.

Mar 28 1975
A fire in the maternity wing at Kucic Hospital, Rijeka, Yugoslavia, kills 25 incubating babies.

Mar 28 1979
Three Mile Island nuclear accident, Harrisburg PA.

Mar 28 1996
78 people apparently perish in a fire at the Pasar Anyar shopping center in Bogor, West Java. The estimate is lowered to 10 after it is discovered that most of the dead are store mannequins.

Mar 28 1997
Martin Lawrence slugs someone in a barroom brawl at the "Gate" nightclub in Hollywood, apparently because he was jostled while dancing. He receives two years probation and community service.